Hey guys,

This is a complement to my message this past Sunday – “God’s Design: Male and Female”.  I think that I could have done a better job explaining how I arrived at the essence of femininity.   I said that the essence of femininity in a woman is to accept (or know) her identity.

This is what I would like to add to help better connect the dots.

In Genesis 2:18 God said “I will make a helper ‘fit’ for him” – ESV.  The word that is translated as “fit” in ESV is translated as “suitable” in New American Standard.  God said He would make a suitable helper.  When Eve was presented to Adam a few verses later it was evident that she was suitable (or fit for what God called her too).  Adam said,

This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man

This section of scripture (Genesis 2:23) is actually poetry.  David Pawson points out that whenever you see the text centered (certain versions do this) what is being translated is prose or poetry.  Adam broke into poetry at the site of Eve.  Eve was suitable before she had done anything.  Eve was suitable because she was created suitably.  A woman must know that her suitability comes from God (identity) and not from what she does.

On the flip side we see Satan attacking women’s identities.  Take a walk through the check out lane at the grocery store.  What do you see?  You see the world telling women who they should be on the cover of every magazine.  A question that Satan will commonly tempt a woman with is “Am I suitable?”  A little girl might ask, “Am I pretty?”.  A woman might ask, “Am I lovely or love-able?”.  The underlying question comes back to “Am I suitable?”  This is an identity issue.  The woman was created essentially suitable and the essence of femininity in a woman is to know that her Creator made her suitably.

This lays the foundation for roles within marriage.  In the context of marriage the function of a wife (as in the case of Eve) is helper.  But helping/ serving is very hard to do when a woman infers her identity from her husband’s words or actions.  “What did you mean by that?” or “What are you really trying to say?” a wife might be tempted to ask her husband.

Listen to what empowered Jesus to serve in John 13:

Jhn 13:3-4 ESV – 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, 4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. [emphasis mine]

Jesus knew who he was which freed him up to serve.  A woman can’t serve if she is merely trying to take identity from others (no one can really), therefore the essence of femininity is accepting identity – knowing that the Creator of the universe has made her suitably.

One last point.  A wife’s function in marriage is really the complement of masculinity.  God has called a man to take responsibility and a compassionate wife will desire to help him.  A man’s role in marriage is the complement to femininity.  God has created the woman suitably and a compassionate husband will affirm this – in other words he will love her and wash her with the water of the word, he will build her up so that his wife knows who she is.  Ephesians tells wives to submit to their husbands and husbands to love their wives.  Roles in the family and church stem from masculinity and femininity/ creation (not the other way around) which is all about God’s image being on display through our lives.

A masculine man accepts responsibility
A feminine woman accepts (or knows) her identity

Scott