Thinking of myself as a sheep (from the last two Sundays’ sermons) is both encouraging and laughably realistic. I am thankful for this not-so-flattering metaphor because it keeps me from taking myself too seriously – a fault that trips me up often. This is not to take our sinful natures lightly – but it takes away the self-condemnation and puts it in the perspective God wants.

Not living in a rural culture, the metaphor takes a while to sink in, but it is still a powerful one. Certainly following the voice of my Shepherd is my goal in life because I know whose side I want to be on and to follow. I know who is for my good. I know who knows better than I.

But I have a found a distinguishing characteristic of this particular sheep (me) – and some of you may relate – that I just don’t want to FOLLOW him at times. I really want to show Him I can take care of myself – to “help Him out.” He’ll like me more that way.

I  “help out” the shepherd by charging out of the sheep gate and heading up to the upper pasture because surely that is where He would go as far as I can figure. This way I’ll spare Him the trouble of bringing me along. And He’ll be proud of me for being so smart. He’ll appreciate that I’m so proactive and that he can concentrate on the other 99 better.

Then I get to the upper pasture and wait for the others and my Shepherd who will appreciate my plan. But it is kind of lonely up here and, well, a little scary. There’s no one here to protect me from the wolves. Oh I forgot about that. Oh where are they all and where is my Shepherd? Why isn’t He joining me in my plan? This was His plan wasn’t it? Doubt sets in and I am mortified at my self-sufficiency and foolishness. Now the Shepherd will be really disappointed in me for being so precocious and yes STUPID. I am doomed. The wolves will be here any minute. I can hear them. I deserve to be eaten I guess.

Then the familiar sound – the call that I always know and trust. Why would he come for me when I have blown it so badly? But there He is, His face glowing with recognition and welcome. He has left the others for a bit just to get me? And He knew I’d be here. I guess He knows me so well. And He doesn’t reject me, He just keeps seeking me when I wander off.

We all have different ways of wandering off. This is just one of mine. Perhaps this kindly metaphor can help us understand His commitment to us and His acceptance of us in all our frailties. I was encouraged by the passages in John where Jesus describes Himself to us reminding us who we are to Him. Loved.