Weeks ago I preached on  John 5:25-29 where Jesus speaks of the future judgment of all that have ever lived.  As I prepared for the teaching, the Scriptures led me to be thinking on the value of having a healthy fear of God.  Part of what I would consider having a healthy fear of God is understanding that God is a loving, caring Father and yet, is an authority to be revered and obeyed.  These two seemingly opposite ideas of God are true at the same time.  God loves, cares, provides, and nutures….and he corrects, guides, and disciplines.

Hebrews 12:7-11 (NIV)

⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! ¹⁰ Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

How does this affect my views on parenting?

Don’t make the mistake of pitting love against discipline in your parenting.  God doesn’t view these as conflicting and neither should we as parents.  In fact, in Revelation, God says plainly that healthy discipline is a product of his love for us:

Revelation 3:19

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline.

In my parenting, I want to model the Father’s love of me to my children by correcting and training when necessary for their greater good.

How this works practically?

As I’ve thought on the idea of discipline and authority and a healthy fear of authority, I see 3 practical ways that a father disciplining his children is loving.  This is not meant to be a complete list, but hopefully can help us understand that it is in fact a loving thing to discipline a child when necessary.  A child that is lovingly disciplined should have:

1) A healthy view of earthly authority

As I’ve gotten older (still young at 33), I’ve been surprised to see the overall lack of respect for authority in our culture.  It is refreshing to find a young person that actually realizes they are not always in charge and don’t always get there way!  Some examples I’ve seen:  quitting jobs when they don’t get their way,  refusing to take advice from anyone,  prideful attitude that my way is always right or the best way.   How many people would have been helped in life if they had just been discplined a bit more as a young person?  And I’m not talking solely spiritually here either.  There are some people that cannot hold a job for more than a few months because they cannot stand being under authority.  That is not good.  And as a parent who wants to see my children thrive when having to work or operate under someone’s authority, it is loving  to teach my children of the authority God has given parent’s over their children.

2) A jump start to understanding Jesus as Lord

Turning purely to a spiritual topic here, if a child does not have a grasp on understanding authority they will have an uphill battle to accepting Jesus as Lord.  I’ve seen many who quickly respond to the gospel message of love, reconciliation, peace, comfort, etc., and have the hardest time accepting a God that commands us.  And make no mistake, he does command us and He is the ultimate authority.  My hope in disciplining my children is that they would understanding that they are ultimately under authority greater than their own desires and that their choices do have consequences, good or bad.  Once this foundation is laid by a father with his children and the story turns to a higher power in the One true God, I feel there will be easier transition to understanding God’s authority.

3) An understanding of sin nature

To understand the gospel completely, a person needs to understand that they are a sinner who commits real sins and those sins are an offense to God.  The gospel at its most important level is a God that rescues us from something that we could not rescue ourselves from, namely the wrath of God against sin.  Where there is not an understanding of what we have been forgiven of, there is a lack of appreciation for Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.  We must understand that we have a sin nature.  What happens when a child is never disciplined when they get out of line or even when there is a subtle rebellion in attitude?  One thing that is bound to happen is that the child begins to believe that they are “better” than they in fact are.  One thing Americans are known for is our brash self-confidence.  Could part of that confidence lie in our insistence that everyone has a great self-esteem and should feel good about themselves?  Probably.  If a child or adult has no realization that they are a sinner and have been from birth, there will be little to no desire to see Jesus as a great treasure.  Consistent loving discipline for sinful behavior is a healthy reminder to a child that they are a sinner in need of a Savior.  Especially when solid teaching from the parent is used along the way a great foundation for the good news of the gospel is laid.

This is definitely not a complete list, but hopefully a good reminder of the benefits of taking the hard road of disciplining for our children’s greater good.  It’s God’s way and it should be ours also.